A day that will never be the same

Like many of you, I have been glued to our television watching the tragic story of the elementary school shooting unfold in front of my eyes. It's heartbreaking. How could someone go into a school and take the lives of so many innocent children and adults? Children- Kindergartners...their very innocence gone within a matter of minutes. It's something that I literally cannot wrap my mind around. Who would do such a thing? 

As a mother, it brought tears to my eyes thinking of the terror that must have gone through the minds of those children. It also brought tears to my eyes thinking of the pure bravery of those teachers and staff who did their best to protect those children... who did their best to shield this tragedy and pain from them. The teachers who gave their own lives today. I look at Gabriel and can't imagine the shear worry, pain, and anger that the parent's must have felt.  

As it has been said many times today... no place is ever really safe. No town, no matter how small or quaint it might be, is safe from tragedies like this. As human beings, we like to see the good in people. We like to give most people the benefit of the doubt. We want to believe that our children are safe when we send them to school. Because let's be honest, a school should be safe.  As we saw today, it doesn't matter what kind of security measures you take, if someone has a will- they will find a way. It's sad, heart-wrenching, and tragic. I'm angry and heartbroken over this story. 

I do have to say that after watching Obama's address of this event... I gained a new respect for the man. I'm not a fan by any means, and in no way did his speech make me want to support him. However, seeing him react as a father of 2 children was very touching... It actually seemed like, for those few minutes, the guy could possibly be a decent human being. Possibly. 

I can't help but wonder what was going through the mind of the shooter. Like many of you, I do not understand how someone could be so angry or ill that they would take the lives of innocent children. I know I'm not a genius in the mental health field... and by no means to I have a doctorate degree to diagnose the guy. But let's be honest here... we can't blame what the guy has done on a mental illness. I'm positive that in the coming days a better picture will be painted for all of us and somehow they will try to blame his behavior on his mental state. I personally don't care how mentally ill you are...you don't take the lives of innocent children. It's that simple. This clearly wasn't an act that was "spur of the moment." It was planned... probably for days, weeks, or even months. This guy clearly knew what he was doing. And I personally find it very cowardly that he would take his own life... It's an easy out. He knew what he was doing- so he took his own life instead of facing the harsh consequences that he ultimately knew he would face... the consequences that he deserves.  

Everyone is trying to find someone to blame. It's human nature... to try to place blame on someone or something... to give us a sense of peace and security. We try to place blame so that somehow we can make sense of something so terrible. I've seen many posts and statements today blaming this tragedy on God. Now, how strange is that? There's a plan for everything, this is true... But to place the blame on God is unthinkable. What's even more contradicting to this? God is the one person that everyone wants to blame, but yet he is the one person that everyone is running to and finding comfort in today... tonight... and for the days to come. We listen to the politics and the "good ole boys" trying to tell us that we should take God out of our schools... that he shouldn't be talked about to our children. We're taught about the theory of evolution in school but we're not taught about the true beginning as told in Genesis. We don't say the Pledge of Allegiance in schools anymore because it might "offend" someone.  The world wants to blame God and then the world complains when he "isn't there." If you ask me... the world needs to stop conforming to what politics say and the world needs to put God back in our schools... In America. In my opinion, when we stood on the statement "One Nation, Under God" we were doing a lot better. Perhaps it's time to go back to the basics America. 

Jesse and I will be holding Gabe a little tighter for now on. We will also never, ever take for granted the pure joy that he brings us and the time that we get to spend with him every single day. Tonight, our prayers go out to the families of Newtown, Connecticut. For we know that their lives will never be the same.