we don't poop in the floor.

Can you relate? Come on, I know I'm not the only mom that has said this...more than once. Let me set the scene for you. 

The boys have been in bed since 9:30. Gabe has been asleep since about 9:45. It is now 1:30 a.m. and Lincoln is wide awake. 

I've been working on my embroidery orders downstairs. Jesse just went to bed about an hour ago. All was calm. We thought Lincoln had finally passed out. But, that little ninja. He tricked us all. 

So, I'm working away when I hear little footsteps coming down the stairs. I yell, "Go back to bed." 

Does he listen!? Ohhhh, heck no he doesn't.

Then I hear: "Hi Momma, I pooped." 

So, I check his butt. Sure enough, he pooped. But it's not the nice, hard regular poop. It's the nasty, stinky, runny poop that just runs and runs. UGH! 

We head to the bathroom and I start to clean him up. "I pooped Momma" Yes son, yes you did. 

We're all done and we head back upstairs to go to bed... AGAIN. 

A few minutes later, the lights start turning off an on. 

"LIIIINNNNCCCOOOLLLNNNN!!! I swear, if you're not in that room in your bed by the time I get up there you are going to be in BIGGGGGG trouble" 

Fast Forward 30 minutes. 

"Hi Momma, I pooped" 

"WHATTTT!!???" 

Yep, you guessed it... he pooped again. 

Son, we why are you pooping so much? Why does it stink so bad? Why is it so nasty? WHY OH WHY are you not potty trained yet? 

So this time we head straight to the bathtub. I've convinced myself that it's the only way we are really going to get him clean and get that stink off of him. 

So, 1:00 a.m. and bath time it is! 

We head back upstairs... and it's then that I notice that not only did he poop but it is on the floor and the top 3 stairs. 

"LINCOLN!!! Did you slide down these stairs with your poopy butt?"

"YES, Momma! I lub you Momma" 

"I love you too, Lincoln. BUT we do not slide down the stairs in our poop!" 

"Ok, Momma. HAhahahahah" 

There's poop on my stairs. There's poop on the floor upstairs. The whole stinkin' upstairs smells like poop. So what do I do? I grab the cleaning supplies, clean the whole stinkin' thing and sanitize as much as I can. 

What's a mom to do? 

Why does my kid poop so much? 

Why is he not asleep? 

Why is it 1:30 am and my kid insists on being a dinosaur. 

At least, maybe...dinosaurs don't poop? hah!

I can hope, right? 

SURPRISE!

No, we're not pregnant. Don't even go there. I'm pretty sure Jesse would kill me. Like, For REAL! haha. Though, I do want a girl... but that's under discussion for the next 5 years. lol. 

Anywho, I'm planning this super awesome birthday surprise for Jesse. It's top secret. I'm so excited myself that I'm having trouble not revealing the surprise to him. To be honest, if I pull this off without him knowing what it is- I'm going to be super, super proud of myself! I let it slip the other day that the money I had put back in a top secret location was for his birthday surprise. (Mainly because he couldn't figure out how that money just "disappeared") So, I caved...kinda. I told him that it was for his birthday/Christmas (since they're 5 days apart) and that it was a secret and when it's time, He will find out what it is. I gave few details... 

1) you have to be on location to help me pick it up 
2) it's Big and I'm not sure I can carry it on my own
3) it's super legit and you'll be totally, crazy happy when you receive it
4) it may involve some driving time and I hope it fits in our car
5) No it's not a 50 inch computer screen or a new desk

OK, OK... not all of these actually pertain to his gift. But what's a girl to do? I had to throw him off just a little so I wouldn't give it away. I broke the news to him last night that the delivery date got pushed and it might actually arrive after Christmas. Oh well, it'll still be awesome and a nice little "after-Christmas" present and excitement. 

I am SOOOOOOO excited about this. 

More details coming soon. 

SHHHHHHHHHHH....it's a surprise! 

Love, 

Jesse's Super Awesome, Amazing, Totally Secretive Wife.