when you have to eat your own words

If you remember, several months ago I posted about our terrible, no good doctors visit. If you're not up to speed as to what I'm talking about I'll give you the quick (well the quickest version i can) run down. 

So, our favorite pediatrician, Dr. Pav, retired last year. It was a sad, sad day and honestly I am still a bit traumatized. I didn't know what we were going to do. He had been the boys' doctor since birth... we love that guy. He would end every visit by telling my that I'm a great mom and that I'm doing everything right. The boys loved him and most importantly, he loved the boys. We had a special bond... with Gabriel being so little when he was born it was nice to know that we had the best doctor caring for our little man. And then came my little ninja, Lincoln, and Dr. Pav jumped right in and cared for him just as well. When he retired I was so upset because I thought there is no way anyone could replace this doctor. But i tried. After a few recommendations to a doctor here in town we thought we'd give it a shot. It was so close to home and more convenient. Well, this doctor that we saw was terrible. and i mean TERRIBLE. She judged me for our personal beliefs, asked me "does he always talk like that" when she walked into the room and then said "I guess that's a good enough reason" when I told her I didn't know my family's medical history. I AM ADOPTED. I DON'T know my family medical history. As you can probably tell, I still get heated when i think about that visit. And for her to ask me " does he always talk like that" well, that just burns me to the core. A little sidenote: Lincoln was behind on his speech- he's come a LONG, LONG way. He needed tubes in his ears... the ninja just couldn't hear us talking which then led to him not being able to "talk" as well as he should have. So, for her to ask me this was just down right aggravating. Since that happened I have said that never again will I visit this facility. Even after the manager of the office called to apologize- I was dead set on never, ever giving them my business again. I just couldn't believe the way we were treated. It was appalling and just downright rude. Anyway, that's the short version. You can read the long version here. 

Dr. Pav used to give his clients his home number in case of an emergency. You can only imagine that since he retired I had thought about calling him 10000000 times. If we're being honest here, my kids haven't been to a doctor since that last visit because I haven't worked myself up to switching doctors yet again. SO, imagine my surprise when I'm scrolling through facebook today and see that Dr. Pav is COMING BACK! YESSSSS!!!! He is going to start seeing patients at Rea Clinic in Sesser. I mean seriously- you can not even fathom my excitement. I've been soooooo excited about this all day long. I can not wait to get my kids back in to see him. Rea Clinic has been on my "NO" list for quite some time now but this, well this just made me a customer again. Plus, it's in Sesser and i have no issues with the Sesser office. I AM SO EXCITED!!! 

So, not that they will ever see this but Dr. Pav we are soooo happy you decided to come back out of retirement. We miss our pediatrician and as a mother i can't imagine my kids seeing anyone else. Rea Clinic, GREAT Move on your part. You won back my business today and I must say I can't wait to visit your facility for as long as our favorite doctor is there. 

When Momma Loses her Cool...

You all know what I'm talking about... don't deny it. You know, that moment when you as a MOM lose your cool...

For me, the happy mom turns into the angry, sleep deprived mom that just wants her child to go to sleep. Usually, this happens about 5 hours AFTER i've put the ninjas to bed. And typically, actually 99.9% of the time it is Lincoln who refuses to sleep.

It never fails, almost every night I will put him down between 8:30 & 9:30. We say our goodnights, give kisses and I shut the lights off. I say "I love you" and head out the door. Fast forward to about 10 minutes later... Lincoln's up. He usually starts by playing with toys in his room, turning on the lights or opening the door. If i'm not upstairs- then it's the little footsteps coming down the stairs and his little head peaking around the corner.

Back to bed we go. Again. and Again. And Again.... AND YES, AGAIN! Seriously, i keep my cool for a few hours as this routine just keeps on going. Finally, around midnight or 1 A.M. when i'm really tired and ready to go to sleep and just sick and tired of putting that kid back in his bed... I LOSE it. I threaten no tablet, no playing in the morning... anything I can think of. It doesn't phase him. NOw that Jesse is back to work,I threaten to wake daddy up. NO response. HE doesn't care. He just does not want to go back to bed.

SO then, Momma really loses it. YOu either go to bed or go sit outside. By yourself. He laughs and says NOOOO!Of course, it doesn't phase him because he knows there is absolutely no way that I would actually stick his cute little behind outside. But the threat of it should have some effect, right?

Tonight folks, well tonight I had enough. This kid just WILL NOT sleep. EVER. seriously, i don't know if he ever does sleep. honestly. Sometimes I fall asleep on the couch before he goes to sleep because i'm so tired from trying to stay up until he's passed out. and then he's up at the crack of dawn. I'm not kidding.. the CRACK OF DAWN that kid is in my room saying "Hi Momma" in his sweet little voice. WHEN DOES HE SLEEP? WHY WON'T he sleep?

I've tried everything. EVERYTHING! i'm not even kidding. Regardless, I've got to find a better way of getting this kid to realize that sleep is good... it's GOOD. it's necessary for momma. it's necessary for the happiness of this home. haha. but seriously. I'm trying to be a more present and happier momma because these are the days I will not get back. But shoot, this kid makes it hard for momma to be happy when it's 1 AM and he's still awake....

Can you relate? I know you can.

the start of 2016

So, now that the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is over I thought I'd do a little update. 

I regret to tell you this. I lied. I did. it's true. You know how I said we were only buying the boys a tablet and one big toy each, yeah that didn't happen. I went a little overboard. I couldn't help myself. As much as I wanted to stick to my plan, I just couldn't. I stayed up on Black Friday shopping online and found so many deals that I couldn't pass up. Plus, It was Christmas... and kids should have a magical Christmas, right? So unfortunately I didn't stick to my plan but my kids did have a wonderful Christmas. 

I Love Christmas time and I'm really sad that it's over. Christmas is my favorite. My house looks so bare now that all of the decor is down. My mantle looked so sad...but thankfully I've got some new decorations up there that Im' actually liking... a lot. 

Anywho, this weekend brought on some nasty stomach bug for this family. It wasn't fun at all. BUT thankfully it was only a 24 hour bug and we all seem to be on the mend. Friday was our 5th Anniversary and Jesse and I finally got to celebrate tonight a little by going out to dinner and a trip to wal-mart! WOOOO!! BIG party! haha. NO, but seriously it was nice.. and we're kid free which is even better so I'm able to get some much needed work done tonight and get my house cleaned. AHHHH, at least it will be clean for a few hours until the boys come home tomorrow. 

So I was watching the movie "Mom's Night Out" yesterday and I literally felt like I was watching my life...again. It's the second time I've watched the movie and I swear I laugh so hard throughout. You know those Mommy melt-downs she has in the movie. Yeah, I have those... a lot. I mean seriously... A LOT!

But here's what i know... 

I"m not a perfect mom. I fail every single day. ALL. THE. TIME. I lose my cool a lot especially when the boys are screaming and fighting and acting like a dinosaur 24/7. But I often find myself hating that I got so mad at the end of the day because these are the days, the moments that I won't get back with my children. These are the times and the memories that I want to cherish and hold onto forever.

So, at the beginning of this year I made a goal for myself to be more present with my children. TO laugh more and yell less. To snuggle, hug and kiss as much as I can before they're too old and too cool for me. One thing I'm doing is reading the Book "5 Love Languages of Children." I'm super excited and can't wait to finish it! 

That's all for tonight folks! I got a house to clean and laundry to fold. :)